Poor self esteem is an issue that is really close to my heart. I suffered from a bout of inferiority complex when I was in my early teens, for a variety of reasons.
Lack of self esteem is a problem. Like any other problem that we might face in life, be it time management, a rocky relationship or biasness at work, it doesn't just go. Problems take time to be solved, just like how scars take time to heal.
I hope you will not think that I am merely preaching in the next few paragraphs. I have suffered from confidence issues for quite some time, and I know how much it hurts. I also know how annoying it is when our friends and loved ones tell us to simply forget it and move on, because we can't. It's not as simple as what they think.
The teasing made me feel terrible. When it first began, I became so self-conscious that it was hard to enjoy dancing and singing (I was in my school's musical at that time). I focused so much on the negative things that strangers remarked about me, I overlooked the great things that other people said.
Your friend said that your tennis serve outshines Venus Williams. A colleague was envious of your handwriting. Your loved one wrote you a sweet note. Write everything down into your diary!
When your day gets rather tough on you, take a breather and read through what you've written. The emotional boost will be amazing for your poor self esteem.
Some of you might recognize the above sentence from the Desiderata. My mom made me read it when I was 14 and it has been one of my principles since then.
This statement can help you through those days of frustration and anger, when you simply want to cause misery onto others.
Being criticized and humiliated is never pleasant. Never cause another person to suffer from poor self esteem. Seek the best in others, and you might be surprised at how many people will start wanting to be your friend.
I was never one to mince my words to make it sound pleasant. Those who choose to look down on others are often insecure about their own lives and suffer from extremely low self esteem. They refuse to find a solution to their problems, so they take it out on weaker people around them.
I don't mean to say that because you have been victimized, it means that you are weak. Often, bullies are either physically imposing or they have a group of friends who intimidate you.
The next time someone says something that affects you, stop and think. A colleague of mine once criticized me in front of everyone in my office. What he didn't know was that everyone was complaining and criticizing his poor work ethics. Does that "someone" have a flaw that you know about?
My advice is to never let a mean person cause you to have poor self esteem. You are worth so much more.
It is never wrong to admit that you need a leaning shoulder, or a listening ear. Many times, we feel so insignificant because of harsh remarks that people make about us that we forget that many people still care!
Bottling up your emotions only make you feel worse. Also, you hurt those who care about you because they're unable to help. They try to reach out to you, but you block them out. It's no win-win situation.
Humans are social creatures. We seek companionships. Talking is not only natural, but it will help the healing process in fighting poor self esteem. Also, if you still feel overwhelmed, you should consider seeing a therapist who can provide further professional guidance.
Remember, it is not wrong to ask for help!
I do this pretty often, sometimes without even realizing. It could be in a form of writing a diary entry every few days.
Self-reflections help remind you who you really are. A lot of times, I think we try to be someone we're not. I'm guilty of wanting to be like that guy because he is better built than I am. The media makes this even more important.
The media keeps portraying ideal human individuals being women dressed in size zero outfits, and Adonis-like men. When we see these images on a regular basis, we start comparing ourselves and this can eventually lead to poor self esteem. I do not think that it is wrong for you to say:
"I want to exercise regularly so that I can look good, just like Gisele."
It sounds realistic. Also, you are aware that you need to work out regularly to achieve a slim figure, similar to supermodel, Gisele Bundchen, which is good!
It is UNHEALTHY if you say:
"I want to look exactly like Gisele! I want her legs! Her abs! Her hair!"
This takes time. I believe that if you follow the above suggestions that I have listed out for you, you will be on the right track towards positive thinking.
"There is a difference only you can make."
My sister couldn't stop repeating that line for days! It got stuck in my head after that, which is good. It helps remind me that we are all special individuals.
You are special, believe in that. You have wonderful friends who love you and think that you're talented! Never let the words of someone else get to you. Pay attention to the good stuff, and ignore the rest.
Small baby steps will get you feeling better about yourself! Don't be overwhelmed and take things slowly.
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